Burrito Bandido - Sweet Horchata, Burritogirl!

For about three years now I've been driving past Burrito Bandido (227 N. Maryland Ave, Wilmington DE) every few months and thinking to myself "I really need to try that place. I just KNOW they've got to have awesome food there". Alas, I've either not been hungry (shut up, it does happen) or I've been in a hurry (ie, running late as always). Well I have learned my lesson this time. I waited too long, and those little upstarts over at The Spark got the drop on me and reviewed them first. Jerks.

I also found this review which describes the area surrounding Burrito Bandido as being "questioning" and "discomforting". This dude obviously hasn't had the pleasure of driving down 4th St at 2am. Or 2pm. Really, 4th is pretty scur-dry any time of night or day. Seriously, I ran over a cup once while driving down 4th and thought I'd been shot at. I digress.

I found myself exiting Wilmington the other night, and found the opportunity to stop at Burrito Bandido at long last. As soon as I entered I was backhanding by the visual assault of bright orange, lime green, and mexi-kitsch. We all know I love kitsch. The first good sign was a Latin (I'll wager Mexican) couple eating dinner in the small dining area. When you go to an ethnic restaurant and there are no patrons of that ethnicity there, you just know you're about to eat crappy food. The menu includes steak, chorizo, lamb, pork, beef ...and tripe, tongue, or head. I went the safe route, and got a steak burrito. The waitress was very friendly, asking me if I had any questions about the menu.

Why yes, I do. Oh please, sweet little Mexican woman, tell me what I want to hear, tell me you have my beloved Horchata? THEY DO! I refuse to believe that any Mexican establishment can claim to be "authentic" and not serve Horchata. What makes this South Jersey Jew the foremost authority on the authenticity of a Mexican eatery?

1) I spent weeks in Phoenix, AZ as a teenager.
2) I said so.

If you have not had the pleasure of enjoying a glass of horchata, allow me to explain. Simply put: Horchata is a Mexican rice milk drink flavored with cinnamon. Sir Forksalot compares it to a drinkable rice pudding. I compare it to milky proof that god loves us and wants us to eat well. It's subtle sweetness and milky consistency make it possible to eat fire and not rip our tongues out.


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I ordered the steak burrito ($6.50) and a horchata ($2.75). The horchata came in a huge quart sized bucket-to-go container. I got a cup so I could drink on the go. I got my order take-out. A dumb choice, in retrospect. I should have stayed and hung out there. Especially once I saw the size of the burrito. Let's just say that if this burrito were transformed into a living breathing man, that man would have a great career in porn. I ate it for dinner, breakfast, and lunch. The horchata was just as orgasmic as I had hoped. There were even bits of cinnamon clinging to the bottom of my cup when it was done, a testament to the flavor of the drink.





Yeah, it's a crappy photo. The Travel Channel hasn't come through with their financial backing to this blog yet. I'm waiting.

The burrito came with a green and a red sauce. The green tomatillo had an undercurrent of cool flavor to offset the spice. The red was just out to burn my face off. First bite impression: WOWZA! The steak has been marinated since last October, it's packed with flavor. Fresh crispy lettuce, perky sweet tomatoes, rice, and refried beans. I wish I'd had more refrieds and less rice, but I'm a pain in the ass that way. I really can't stress how much I enjoyed the flavor of the steak and appreciated the time they had taken to spice and marinate it rather than just grilling it up with bland salt&pepper. I can't wait for an excuse to go back and try some of their tortas.

Burrito Bandido - If you don't like it, you're a jackass bandit.

Johnnie's Dog House - Indeed.

After taking my furry children to the dog park, I took a spin on Rt 202 over to Johnnie's Dog House.



After a really mind blowing hot dog experience (yeah, I didn't think there was such a thing either) at Super Duper Weenie in Fairfeld, CT last summer (that's right, last summer, BEFORE that little upstart Guy Fieri went there) I've been hoping to find something of the same kin closer to home. Pulling up to the very retro chic Johnnie's Dog House I immediately got excited about what delights awaited me on the inside. The name is a little misleading, they do serve things other than dogs and fries. They also serve fish sandwiches, pulled pork, roast beef, and I was to find out later -a side order of despair. However I was in search of a yumm-o hot dog. Sir Forksalot at my side we headed into the surprisingly crowded building.




One of the patrons kindly recommended that we try the Coke, as it was bottled in Mexico where they have a slightly different flavor.



He was right, the flavor was subtly different. The retro kitsch of drinking out of a glass bottle mixed with the decor made you feel almost like you were transported back to the time of the imagery on the walls. The charm wore off by the time I ordered, however. I don't need a lot of interaction, but it's just plain polite to:

A) Make eye contact.
B) Say "Hello".
C) Say "Thank You".
D) Not sigh when I make a request on my order.

I could have forgiven this easily, but as soon as I was done ordering I took note that everyone behind the counters seemed like they weren't so much working as they were waiting for their death sentence to be handed down. Yeeesh. The first sign of trouble came when I saw them pulling out a food service bag of onion rings. I had some sort of childish hope that a place that lives off of nostalgia would be make their food from scratch. We got our orders to go since we three small whining dogs in the car. This would prove to be a mistake.

I ordered the New Yorker without mustard, but WITH sauerkraut and red onion sauce. This set me up for disappointment as the only time I had red onion sauce was at Super Duper Weenie, where it is made by hand.



I sure was disappointed in the red onion sauce. Mostly because - THERE WASN'T ANY! Instead of making my dog to my specifications, they left out the red onion sauce all together. By the time I got home and realized this, it was too late to go back and throw my weenie in their face. And believe me, I wanted to smack a ho' with my weenie I was so peeved. The dog was okay, but a bit bland. My initial anger at the lack of onion sauce never quite wore off. The onion rings were, as I suspected, quite terrible. The breading had a stale flavor to it and I'm not sure how you manage to make an onion ring completely void of onion flavor...but they did it.

Sir Forksalot got a Kielbasa with Sauerkraut.



Now I like Sauerkraut, but when it's the highlight of the sandwhich -it's a bad thing. I'm not sure where their Kielbasa is coming from, but it needs to go back. It was like cheap bologna. You know it's supposed to taste like something, but you're not sure what.

They fell way short from the mark. Johnnie's promises "The foods you crave" and they deliver it. Just without it, you know, tasting good.

Johnnie's Dog House - Not good enough for my mutts.

Michael's Jewish Deli - A Kick in the Knish!

When I made plans to see Batman: Dark Knight the IMAX experience at the King of Prussia Mall, I planned ahead and checked out a couple of websites like TripAdvisor.com and Chow.com for recommendations on where to eat. Since Sir Forksalot has never eaten in a Jewish Deli before, and Michael's Jewish Deli is renowned for their huge selection of beers, that's where we headed.

Our visit to Michael's started out on a down note. We failed to pre-order tickets, and a midweek midday showing of the movie was sold out. Defeated, we purchased tickets for Hellboy instead went in search of grub.

First of, Michaels doesn't have a huge selection of beers. They have a enormous selection of beers.



Four cases of single bottles of beers from all over the world. My only gripe is that I had a hard time choosing. They've got the standard Miller Lt, but also have everything else under the sun. After ten...okay, after fifteen minutes of staring with an open jaw at all of my options, I finally selected a bottle of Three Philosophers. Sir Forksalot was hankering for the one beer they didn't have: Killian's Irish Red. Instead he picked out a Hooker. Hooker Irish Red Ale that is.

We settled down in the dining area and salivated over the huge menu. I tried to explain to Sir Forksalot what a knish is. It's not really that difficult if you actually break it down (a potato filled pastry) but instead of using words to describe it, I began making "Yumm" noises and had to rely on the waitress to explain it to him. I ordered the New Yorker (yes, with cheese, I'm a bad Jew) with a side of Sauerkraut and a potato knish on the side to split with Sir Forksalot. Because he wanted me to cry, he went with a Jewish Hoagie. Pastrami is never supposed to be served with lettuce and tomato, ever.




My sandwich was huge and very filling, I took half home. Okay, actually I took half to the theater and finished it later in lieu of popcorn. My only gripe is the bread itself wasn't grilled. The meats were top knotch. They were served warm, juicy, and popping with flavor. One of the best sandwiches I've had hands down. The knish was really superb. It was fresh and the potato's were real, nothing artificial in the filling. Sir Forksalot and I had a knife fight to decide who got the last bite. He enjoyed his sandwhich, although he actually had the nerve to complain about there being too much meat. That's right, he complained about there being too much meat on a sandwich served in a Jewish Deli that is listed on the menu as containing four meats. He was most intrigued by the bologna, which he picked out from the sandwich and ate separately. The only real disappointment were the beers. Neither was particularly good. Mine was far too heavy for me, though Sir Forksalot enjoyed it.

We enjoyed our visit so much we returned the following week. That time we fandangoed our movie tickets. We stopped by Michael's and got our sandwiches to go, snagged two bottles of Hard Cider and enjoyed our meal while waiting for the movie to start. Definitely a better choice than the lame-o Cheesecake Factory.

Michaels Jewish Deli: Kickin' it semi Kosher.

Moshulu: Fancy eating on a funny named boat.

To celebrate CreamPuffGrrl's birthday we took a walk on the maritime side to the Moshulu. The floating restaurant is a "four masted steel Braque" according to Wikipedia. One with a rather varied and colorful past including being the inspiration for several books written by Eric Newby. It's also had cameo appearances in Rocky and The Godfather II.

What's with the name? Well it seems that the ship was originally named "Kurt", which is a painfully lame name for such an impressive ship. It was renamed the very baddass sounding "Dreadnought" in 1917 when the US government seized the ship during WWI. However, proving that she was indeed one dizzy dame, Edith Wilson renamed the boat Moshulu to ensure that people would be mispronouncing the name for decades to come.

It's a now a restaurant. Orginally opening as an eatery in 1975, the Moshulu has gone on to survive fire, docking in Camden and still managed to receive a four diamond rating by AAA. The Moshulu isn't cheap: dinner for two can easily top $100+. CreampuffGrrl and I used the tried and true method of getting to enjoy an expensive meal on the cheap: We went there for lunch. Actually, Sunday Brunch.

The Moshulu hosts a "Champagne Sunday Brunch" every Sunday from 10:30 till 2:30. It's a three course brunch with endless champagne for a measly $35. Reservations are required, but we called the day of and still got in easily. Dress code is more relaxed for brunch. This does not mean you get to wear your Phillies baseball cap throughout the meal despite what the jackass who sat two tables down from me thought.

The first thing that hits you when you walk into the ship is the overwhelming smell of chocolate. This is because directly across from the entrance is the dessert buffet, including a 4ft tall chocolate fountain. I managed to miss this sprawling display of sweets initially, until my nose instructed my eyes to seek out the source of the chocolate scent that was wafting in the air.

We had to wait a bit for our waitress to come to our table. This got me a little miffed. I'm very impatient on a good day, and I was dying of thirst. Turned out the waitress was getting a special dessert arranged for the couple next to us who was celebrating their 40th anniversary, so all was forgiven. Once she arrived she was sweet, prompt and kept my Mimosas coming. This is a contrast when a month later I went back and our waiter was promptly at our table side the moment we sat down...and then absent for the rest of the meal. It should never take three tries to get a refill.

During my first visit, there was a special event going on in one end of the boat. This meant we were seated in the bar area. This was quite fine by me, as the sound of champagne bottles popping through out the meal gave it a lively atmosphere and sense of celebration. The bar is bright and sunny, however you'll due best to keep your eyes within the boat. During the day you have a rather dreary image of Camden across the river. Camden is a city best seen from a distance, under cover of darkness. The carpets are a bit worn and should really be updated or cleaned. An odd quirk about sitting in the far end of the boat is that your table and chair lean to the center of the boat. It takes a while to get used to.

The brunch is broken down into three parts. This isn't your local waffle house fare by any means. The first course is served buffet style and has everything from fruit salad to sushi. Notable from this selection was the lobster bisque, which had a fine flavor but was a bit thin. Their house granola and Tahitian yogurt were a simple but lovely combination. The yogurt has hints of honey to it which bounced off the nutty granola.

The second course is selected from either the Breakfast Menu or the Lunch Menu.

I went with the "Coconut Crusted Brioche French Toast Fresh Strawberries, Bananas, Maui Golden Pineapple, Island Rum Maple Syrup"




This was a really sweet dish full of flavors, that missed the mark by a hair due to being rather dry. I was a pinch disappointed. I believe the bread needed to be dredged in the egg/milk mixture longer. The cream that was used for decoration became the savior as it helped offset the dryness. It was a bit of a shame as the flavors were definitely there, and the coconut added a nice texture.



CreampuffGrrl went for the Medallions of Filet Mignon with Shallot Roasted Young Spinach, Yukon Gold Potato Puree, Bearnaise Sauce, Herb Salad, Pinot Noir Thyme Reduction. Her choice was really excellent. The meat was tender, robust, juicy, and booming with flavor. The Pinot Noir reduction was a highlight. No, really it was. It should be bottled like BBQ sauce and sold at the ship's entrance. It was so good, I ordered it when we went back a month later.

Then there was....dessert.





Chocolate covered strawberries, brownies, cookies, fresh whipped cream, tarts, fruit, cannolis, tiramisu, chocolate cake, oh my. I'll break it down for you: Best part was the chocolate covered strawberries and the tarts. Most disappointing was the chocolate cake, which I actually spit out.

In all, a fine meal at a steal of a price.



Moshulu: Fox Tested, chocolate coated CreampuffGrrl approved.

Phở Như Vũ - That's Vietnamese for "Noodle Soup"

Honestly, I have no idea what it means, I just know that Phở Như Vũ is the (relatively) new Vietnamese restaurant in Bear, Delaware. I find some sense of irony that it is sandwiched in between a China Buffet and a Hibachi grill. The first thing that struck me walking in was that there were many Asian costumers in the building, something you'll never see inside of a China House #1. Sir Forksalot and I grabbed a table next to the window, and the perky waitress promptly brought us a pot of tea.




The menu isn't very Americanized. Read: For those ignorant of Vietnamese cusine like yours truly, you'll need to rely on your waitress and fellow diners to point you in the right direction. At the incouragment of the couple next to us, we tried #5 Grilled Beef Wrapped with Grape Leaves $5.95 for an appetizer. The #5 is served with a sweet and sour dip that is very similair (if not just a slightly more watery version) of the dip served at Tasti Thai. The grape leaves are covered with crunchy peanut bits. The beef is saturated with flavor, and surprisingly tender. The production is an interesting combination and reminds me very much of the greek dolmades. I enjoyed the way the delicate sweetness of the peanuts contrasted with the more robust flavor of the beef.


For our main entrees, we shared #20 Grilled Chicken & Eggroll $7.95 and #31 Steak & Brisket Pho. I also had a #89 Strawberry Pearl Smoothie.



I tried the Steak & Brisket Pho first. A huge bowl of Pho was placed infront of me, the broth steaming into my nostrils was full of the smell of fresh herbs and vegtables. It smelled fresh and delicious. I promptly slurped up a noodle so long that the end flew up and hit me in the eye. This is how I learned that the cilantro was indeed very fresh, by the burning sensation in my eye. The soup was surprisingly mellow in flavor, especially when compared to the intense smell. It was easy to imagine eating the soup on a cold winter day with the warmth of the broth and cilantro to warm you up. Sir Forksalot complained that the meat was too fatty, although it did have a good taste. He especially enjoyed the flavor of the broth.

Sir Forksalot had #20 Grilled Chicken and Springroll bowl first. First thing that struck him was the visual appeal of the presentation. He was unprepared for the vermicelli to be cold, however. The bowl is very generous and served with slices of crunchy carrots, beansprouts and cucumbers along with cilantro, red onion slices, and several chunks of marinated chicken breast. The marinade was sweet and the chicken tender. Though all of the flavors in both dishes were very good, they were subtle to the point of being bland. However we both agreed that the waitress may have steered us in this direction because we were obviously new to Vietnamese food. The portions were on the humungus side of big, and we had plenty of leftovers. However I still set some stomach space aside for dessert, in the form of #90 the Flan. While not the best I've had, it was pleasently smooth. Another fine surprise came with the check. The total for two entrees, appitizer, dessert, and fancy drink? $26.85.



All in all, a very pleasent introdution to Vietnamese dining.

Ole Tapas Lounge & Restaurant: Amada of Newark?

Given the recommendation of a friend, Sir Forksalot and I decided to check out Ole Tapas Lounge & Restaurant in Newark, Delaware (pernounced New-Arc, not to be confused with New-werk, NJ). New-Arc is a college town, home to University of Delaware and few thousand obnoxious co-eds who filter out of the bars and into such fine eating establishments as Cluck-U and D.P. Dough. However Newark has aquired several more promising eateries, including Sofrito's and the ultra-hippie delite Home Grown Cafe.

Like many of my favorite places, Ole Tapas doesn't look like much from the outside. Settled into a mini mall next to a income tax place, Ole Tapas looks positively tiny from the outside. Step inside and you'll be surprised by the spacious place, including a lounge area that looks almost too fancy to sully with your drinks. The space is decorated in warm hues of red and clay, splashed with bits of purple and blue. Crescent shaped booths flank the left wall, facing the bar. The booths are comfy, something that my tush values greatly. Our waiter, whose name I did not catch, was polite and attentive. Our waters were never less than half way empty, and any request was met promptly.

They serve a complimentary bread plate, which consists of thinly sliced crusty bread spread with a tomato and pesto. Upon examining their online menu, I believe that it is their Pan Con Tomate. The spread was positively yummy with a strong garlic flavor.

After mulling it over, we decided to go with three Tapas. Setas con Chorizo, Tomate con Cangrejo, Pulpo a la gellega, and Chicken Croquettes. In other words, wild mushrooms and chorizo, crab stuffed mushroom, grilled octopuss with paprika and... chicken croquettes.


From top left: Pulpo a la gellega, Chicken croquettes, and Setas con Chorizo.



Sir Forksalot and I had differing opinions on each tapa, so we'll go one by one.

Pulpo a la gellega: This was a dish I had vied for, and I was rather disappointed. I felt there was a lack of flavor, especially when compared to other things we sampled. The octopus was on melted cheese that I felt over powered the weakly flavored meat. Furthermore, the cheese had a grainy texture to it.

Chicken Croquettes: This was first on Sir Forksalot's list. My biggest complaint was the breading. Between the breading and the oil it was fried in, it reminded me of something you'd get a fastfood joint drive through. The filling was however a cream and smooth mixture of potato and chicken.


Setas con Chorizo: The mushrooms were nice and tender, not cooked till mush or burnt. The flavor was a mixture of garlic, parsley and something stronger I could not identify. The chorizo was tasty, but lacked the ball busting spice I've come to expect in chorizo. The mushrooms were truely exellent, and I could easily see them spread over a fine cut of steak.

Dizzzurt!


Sir Forkalot's after dinner treat. Chocolate stuffed flatbread.



Churros and Spanish Hot Chocolate

Sir Forksalot's dessert we tried first. The chocolate drizzle is a sweet milk chocolate, and the flat bread is stuffed with a very dark chocolate with chopped nuts. The flat bread is crispy and is slightly sweet with a touch of cinnamon. It's absolutely divine.

I'm not saying I enjoyed my dessert best, but I will say that the hot chocolate itself was so delish I wanted to tap a vein and have it flow directly in. My judgment may have been slightly swayed due to the extreme chocolate craving I was under going, however Sir Forksalot agreed that it was spectacular. It was mixture between dark and milk chocolate, sweet but still maintaining the bitterness of dark chocolate. The Churros were crispy on the outside, with a soft sponge cake like consistence inside. Something that caught my attention was the freshness and sharpness of the cinnamon used. Often the cinnamon used to flavor desserts is so weak you wonder what floor it was swept up from.

Ole Tapas Lounge & Restaurant, I dub thee worthy of a return trip. Even if it's only for dessert. MmmMm.

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Ikea Restaurant - I got your swedish meatballs right here, baby.

On a recent trip to everyone's favorite Swedish build-it-yourself furniture store, Sir Forksalot proposed that we sit down to a fancy dinner... at the Ikea cafeteria. Sir Forksalot holds the Ikea cafeteria in high esteem, having been won over years ago when he discovered their breakfast deal: Two eggs, two bacon strips, home fries for $.99.

We each grabbed a tray and went through the cafeteria selecting our dinners. We each got our own entree, shared a bowl of soup and drink, and I had dessert.




Sir Forksalot selected Chicken Marsala over rice with mixed veges. Surprisingly, ordering an Italian dish from a Swedish furniture store doesn't inspire much confidence. However the Chicken Marsala was surprisingly good by my take, better than some I've had at actual Italian establishments. The veges were cooked within an inch of their existence, however. Sir Forksalot proclaimed it not spectacular, but the chicken was tender and tasty. The final word was that it "couldn't be beaten for the price", which sums up this dish. Incidentally, the price was $4.29+tax.

The soup was a hearty vege-lentil mix that I thought was very good, but Sir Forksalot proclaimed it "blah". This recollection is odd, seeing as how I remember him finishing the soup quickly. However, it's my blog not his, so I give it a thumbs up. Soup $1.79 + dinner roll $.35 = Damn fine dinner for roughly $2.




I went with the quintessential Ikea dish, Swedish Meatballs with gravy and mashed potatoes. This is a hearty, stick to your ribs meal that filled me up easily (and then some) with the "small" portion that consists of 10 meatballs. $4.29, and served with a dabbing of their lingonberry sauce. Now while I enjoy lingonberries,at least I do while I'm at Ikea, I have no idea what the hell these things actually are. Are they even an actual berry? Did the Swedes just make this up to screw with us?

For dessert I had the Apple cake, which is absolutely delish. I wish I'd had asked to have it heated, but even cold it was well worth $2.29. I'd actually put this above any of the samplings I've had at the Pinky Rose Pastry shop. The apples still have a bit of crunch to them, and they resist over sweetening them. Instead, they're heavily dosed with cinnamon and a vanilla sauce tops the cake providing much of the sweetness.

Together, we shared a lingonberry/sprite drink at $1.29

All together, including tax, our meal came to about $15.30 for both of us. So although Ikea might not be the world's most memorable dining experience, it is a great place for some good cheap eats.

Ikea Restaurant, giving you fuel for assembling your new entertainment system.