Tinto - You won't be a tonto for dining here.

To celebrate KrustyBlini's birthday I made reservation at about half a dozen restaurants and gave him the pick. After perusing the menu he selected Tinto a much acclaimed wine bar and tapas restaurant by Jose Garces in Rittenhouse Square.

The interior is exactly as you would suspect it would be for a chic Rittenhouse Restaurant. Dark wood, polished interior, hip design. The major flaw I could find is that to the best of my knowledge there was only one, unisex bathroom in the joint. I'm going to address that flaw right now: If you're Bibou or Marigold and only have a dozen tables or less you can get away with one Unisex bathroom. If you have two dining rooms and a bar, you can not. I twice had to lower the toilet seat because previous male patrons had left it up. This does not help my appetite. Take the cut in dining room and add a second bathroom. There is no excuse for this lapse.


Onto the food. Our first plate were the figs wrapped in serrano ham.



This is a simple well prepared dish that is often seen in varying forms on many Tapas menus. However it's still a delicious combination of salty and sweet, fruit and meat. I'm not ashamed to say that the memory of this was what prompted me the following day to buy those same ingredients and enjoy them in my own version of "hurricane preparation" for the upcoming Nor'Easter that weekend.

KrustyBlini had been reading the menu and reviews for a couple of days ahead of time and was very excited try to their Sopa de Costano.




A truffled chestnut soup, duck and mushroom hash, fried quail egg and pistachio. The soup is served table side with the duck hash and fried quail egg neatly arranged with the seasoning in the bowl. They then pour the soup from a pitcher into the bowl with makes for a lovely bit of presentation and formality. After first bite I considered leaving KrustyBlini alone with the soup so they could enjoy their private moment together and I could have a better chance of leaving the restaurant with all of my fingers intact less he slice one off if he perceived I'd taken more than my fair portion. It's a complex blend of the earthy flavor mushrooms and the sweet taste of the chestnuts and pistachios. I found it a little heavy for me to properly enjoy on a 90F night however KrustyBlini proclaimed that statement sacrilegious and scooted the bowl closer to him.





Moules Basquise


Mussles, chorizo, frites, lemon aioli.

This was my favorite dish we had. The muscles are served in a spice tomato based sauce that made this dish stand out. The lemon aioli with the frites helped to cool off the spice from the sauce and the tang of citrus made your mouth water slightly as if it were sweet further helping to balance out the temperature of the sauce. I would happily sit down to this dish and a glass of red wine on a cold autumn day.




Ablondingas

KrustyBlini had been very excited to see this on the menu as it was reminiscent of an offering at Bar Ferdinand that he had very much enjoyed but had sadly been taken off the menu. The poached egg was solid so we were unable to incorporate it into the dish and decided just to shove it off to the side and enjoy the meatballs. I tried them, and while spicy and tasty I felt it fell a little flat. Blini, while he still enjoyed them, also found that they were a let down compared to his memories of the dish from Bar Ferdinand.





Duck confit, serrano ham, black cherry, la peral spread.

The first two bites of duck are delicious, tender, fatty, excellent. The last bite containing the black cherry however are out of this world. The element the cherry adds of sweetness and acidic juice is a perfect pairing. I wanted three more in a to-go baggy.



Wildmushrooms.

By the time these were brought to us I was feeling quite full so I left these mostly to KrustyBlini. They mushrooms were as all the dishes were, well prepared and tasty... But they're still just mushrooms, I had limited room left in my stomach, and I had scallops coming.

It was around about this time that we noticed the second flaw in Tinto's design. The space is cramped and you have to do the airplane shuffle to get to the bathrooms through the supermodel-thin and very busy bar area to the tune of "'Scuse me, pardon me, sorry, pardon me, was that your foot? 'Scuse me, pardon me"

While I obviously take photos in the restaurant with flash for a quick shot of the food the two couples next to us were have an all out fashion shoot with a large camera with an even bigger flash attachment. The second part isn't a flaw on Tinto's behalf but they should consider it a blessing that KrustyBlini was too enamored with the food to make good on his muffled threats to relocate the camera into a new storage facility located in the photographer's rectum. After the first seventy-two photos you have of each couple smiling over glasses of wine you really don't need to go on to seventy-three.



Diver Scallops in a cider demi glaze with Benton's Bacon and shaved apple.

Sorry muscles, I might have to take back your standing as my favorite from Tinto. I don't know how you go about making a foam but the foam on this had the crispy sharp freshness of biting into a Granny Smith apple but it is gone in 1/100th of the time. It leaves you questioning if you actually tasted that or imagined it. The scallops are served on butter with a side of grits. If you didn't catch it that was my way of saying the grits are tremendously buttery and very velvety smooth. That's right. Velvety smooth grits. They're so smooth and creamy that I took a bite, had a question mark light up over my head, took another bite before finally asking KrustyBlini "Is that...are those... Grits?!" The shaved apple is a simple component that provides a beautiful contrast against the sweet and creamy grits. The scallops were almost spot on. They fell short in that on side was over cooked slightly. Perhaps I'm wrong and they were going for them to have a crust in which case one side was slightly under done. Either way it felt lopsided to have one very crunchy and the other only slightly seared.





New York Strip, herb roasted trumpets, truffled goat cheese. There's no nice way to say it, so here it is: This was a total flop. It was perfectly cooked. The praise ends there. The rub they used on it was so salty I wrinkled my nose at it. To paraphrase Fry from Futurama, it was the saltiest thing I ever ate and I once ate a bowl of salt. If I cut away the outer portion of the steak it was notably improved. However the herb roasted trumpets reminded me of a side portion of the same wild mushrooms we'd had earlier and I found them to be equally uninspired. The menu lists truffled goat cheese but I can honestly say it had so little flavor I didn't any goat product came within 50ft of the plate. It was really a bummer.


I'd be happy to tell you all about the dessert "Chocolate" we ordered. Except some bum in the restaurant ordered the last piece as we were debating over if we should be completely gluttonous and order dessert or not. I look forward to eating here again in the future. However next time: More mussels -less beef.

Sycamore. Can you Suckamore?

Sometimes you stumble upon a place due to friend's recommendation, advertising, desperation, or in this case.... I saw it on Groupon. If I had taken advantage of the Groupon this review might be more positive. But here goes.

During a week of non stop rain in mid August I found myself in need of new places to nosh at and ended up at Sycamore with my dining companion KrustyBlini. Sycamore is located in Lansdowne, PA. KrustyBlini has an opinion of Lansdowne that is loathsome at best. His opinion was further punctuated by us being seated at the front window with a view of Lansdowne Ave. However he's a cranky pants and I personally enjoyed the seating placement. The seating space, however, was cramped. This is definition of "tiny BYOB". The interior is stylish. Decorated with leaves, tree themed light fixtures and dark chocolate brown walls. The interior decorations are honestly very lovely visually. Which is good. Because for a portion of the evening this was the view out of the window:



Clearly this is not Sycamore's fault. However mood-killa.

However the following things were Sycamore's fault. We waited a fairly long time to be greeted by our waitress. We had some quick questions about the menu which were answered efficiently. I say efficiently because both times we asked how something on the menu was she answered with "amazing" as her stock and trade answer. She later revealed, when we asked why there were no sweetbreads on the menu that night despite their presence on the website, that their menu changes daily. Makes me think that perhaps she had not actually tried the dishes we asked about. Which is fine, but cop to it. Explain them dishes, how they're prepared, etc. After our server first came to our table she quickly returned with an amuse-bouche.



Scallop mousse with a slice of carrot that smelled like it was pickled. I honestly forgot the description due to what happened next. What you can't see in the photo but I discovered when I lifted the amuse-bouche to smell was a hair attached to the mousse. Not off to a great start. Worse was that it took nearly thirty minutes for the waitress to come back to the table for me to tell her this. At one point she stopped off at the tables to the right and the left of us, the only three tables in that room, and skipped over us. She was apologetic and the hairy bouche was removed and quickly replaced by another however, perhaps flustered the complaint, she failed to explain the new amuse-bouche. Judging by the taste I assume it was the same.



It was a delicious little bite. It had a slice of some vegetable, turnip perhaps, that had a tang to it. Reminded me of a bite of a seafood chowder with sherry. That was the first step towards redemption. We ordered the Farmer's Plate $19. We had our selection of three cheese options and three charcuterie options with all of the accouterments offered with cheese and charcuterie plates.


Left to right, top to bottom:

Porcini dusted truffle steak, Prosciutto Di Parma, Chorizo, bread and croutes, sweet mustard, cornichon, olives, grain mustard, cipollini onions, Boucheron cheese, Idiazabal cheese, mostarda, and drunken raisins.

This was a delightful plate. I'm a known hater of pickles but the cornichon was excellent. I'd sit down to a small bowl of them. The meats were both excellent. The Prosciutto was on point for what I expected. The Procini dusted truffle steak was less than stellar on the first time I tried it but it was outstanding on my second try. The restaurant is BYOB and I recommend you take advantage of that because we found that our wine was an excellent pallet cleanser. The combination of the Boucheron cheese with the mostarda or the drunken raisins was fantastic although the combination of goat cheese with a sweet fruit component isn't something new. However it still works and all of the elements offered in the Farmer's Plate worked both alone and coupled in their various pairings. As fantastic as this was the fact of the matter is that this offering isn't a great culinary jump. It's good, high quality meats and cheeses with varying accouterments put together to enjoy. Anyone can do that.

On to the entrees.



KrustyBlini's Roasted Duck Breasts $24. Creamed Escarole, Garlic Confit, aged Pedro Ximenez Sherry Vinegar.

The duck was excellently prepared. Soft, tender, flavorful, and lean. The accouterments (its the word of the day) were under impressive. I'm not a huge fan of escarole so that might be my fault. However I felt with that they took away from the near perfect execution of the duck breast.

On to my meal. The Green Meadows Farm Pork Chop $26




Garlic, Sircha & Orange Brined, Coconut Lemongrass Jasmine Rice with Baby Local Swuat & Sweet Chinese Sausage, Basil Mecerated Plums.


I really enjoyed my entree. The porkchop itself was very large. However the pork-to-rice pilaf was off. I think that sliced pork tenderloin would have been a better medium for this dish. However it was all delicious and very well prepared. I made a point to get an element off all of the flavors (plums, chop, sausage, and rice) as my last bite for the entree portion of the meal. This marks one of the few times I had a dish that I thought out shined one of KrustyBlini's choices.

We saved room for dessert. To the elderly dinner across the way from me: Thanks for taking the last Dark Chocolate Pot de Creme. Damnit.

We decided on the Rum Butterscotch Budino and the Local Honey & Hazlenut Pie with macerated fresh peaches. Both $7.



I'll start with the bad: The Hazlenut pie was a flop in my opinion. KrustyBlini enjoyed it after giving it a second chance. My first bite was way too thick, too heavy, and got stuck in every corner of my mouth. My take is that this is just a matter of personal opinion. To me this needed more peaches and less thick pastey cap. We did both agree that the Rum Butterscotch Budino was far and away the best dessert. This was a nice combination of salty, sweet, smooth, creamy, crunchy, and all pulled together near perfectly. My only suggestion would be to include crispy bacon bits in the Budino aka "pudding" for flavor/texture compare/contrast.


All and all I'll revisit Sycamore but only if they up their service game and revamp their menu a bit to cater their clientele.

Bar Ferdinand - Setting the bar for Tapas. No bull.

I've dined at Bar Ferdinand several times over the last two years. I've always enjoyed myself so be prepared for a blog that is mostly going to be me singing the praises of this five year old tapas restaurant in NoLibs. My most recent trip was encouraged by my new boyfriend the KrustyBlini, who also names Ferdinand as one of his favorite restaurants in the city.

Before I get started I've read other reviews with common gripes. It's expensive. The portions are small. It's busy on the weekends.

So before I get started let me address this:
-It's tapas. They're supposed to be small.
-It's high quality ingredients meticulously prepared. That means they're expensive.
-It's a popular restaurant in a popular section of town.

This means if you want plenty of elbow room and a cheap but filling eat you should go to TGIFriday's mid afternoon during the week and shut up.


This place is usually bustling so reservations are recommended. They do have Prix Fix menus for $40, $50, and $60. Thursdays are a special Chef's tasting menu for $45. Wine pairings are also available. The Chef's menu has been hit or miss for me. The first time I loved it and it was one of my favorite meals of all time. The second time I was disappointed but my dining companion raved. This particular night we made our own selections off of the menu. For the record we selected entirely too much and I feel the need to pop an alka seltzer just thinking about it. Unfortunately my notebook had a mishap with my water so I'm relying on memory and the restaurants menu.



First off we had the Surtido de Carnes. Sliced Serrano ham, chorizo, chorizo blanco, lomo. The artisian meats each have their own particular flavor. Some better than others. The Lomo had an earthy mineral taste to it that was so overwhelming it tasted like dirt in my humble blogging opinion. KrustyBlini noted the earthy taste but stopped short of sharing my dirt opinion. This is where the beauty of Tapas comes into play. They're meant to be shared. Or in this case shovel off what you don't like onto your dining companion while you can eat the portion you like.

Next up was Manchego Frita.



Fried Manchego, frozen apple foam, walnut membrillo purée. These three tiny skewers pack a dynomite punch. The fried Manchego is crunchy and warm. The warmth and crunch of the savory Manchego contrasts with the chill and slight tartness of the apple foam. Then the walnut puree comes in at the end with a sweet wash of flavor. The differing flavors, temperatures, textures, and sweet vs. savory bounces around your mouth like you're gargling salty pop-rocks and cola.


The most kitschy dish we sampled was the Pato Ahumado.





Duck sliders. Now I know the concept of high brow burgers is over done. Sliders are so worn out Denny's is offering them. All of this means naddda when faced with these three delightful little duck burgers on fresh miniature rolls. The almond jam is a sweet compliment to the succulent duck. The concept of small high brow sliders may be consider passé but my mouth doesn't care.

Next up... the Jamon.



Charred Scallion. Not a word pairing that inspires great confidence. However the delicious salty, smokey ham contrasts delightfully with the creamy mixture inside. It's a delightful combination that honestly comes off as a fancy drunk food. If they could mass produce them and sell them in baggies at Acme they would be the hit of Ivy League campuses.


Queso de Cabra Cocindado
Goat cheese, honey, spices, pinenuts, garlic... I don't think you can't go wrong. I'm also completely correct. Wowza. This was a fabulous dish. Again the contrast of sweet and savory, smooth and crunchy where brought to the forefront. Like the duck sliders this overwhelming dish would not be well received in a large dish offering. But in Tapas version it left me at odds with my dining companion fighting it out for the final bite.



Pixin Con Panceta.

Meaty fish? Indeed. These skewers were excellently prepared with mild seasoning that allowed the texture and taste of the fish to stand on its own. Complimenting, not over powering. The Monkfish had the thick meaty texture of a well prepared tender steak. This was my first experience eating Monkfish and I am converted.


As I said, Bar Ferdinand - I'd fight a lazy bull for dinner here.

Honey's Sit and Eat - Southern Fried Noshes

After a long hiatus and fueled by the wonders of a smart phone, a borrowed laptop and the company of new foodie friend I'm back with a few new blogs.

I'm starting it off with Honey's Sit and Eat. Honey's is a small shabby chic establishment in Northern Liberties. On the weekend the wait for breakfast can easily reach two hours. I personally can't wait for two hours for breakfast. I would either pass out from hunger or eat another patron. That said I have waited over an hour for breakfast there. I may, or may not, have longingly eyed a small child's chunky arm during that wait while wondering how it would taste with a bit of Queso but I refuse to comment on that subject any further. The concept of Honey's to think of the best down home southern cooking made by your Jewish Grandmother after she returned from a visit with your Aunt Edie in New Mexico. Vegetable Latkes sit next to Fried Green Tomatoes on Honey's menu right across from Mahi Mahi Tacos. If you can't find anything to eat on the menu you're either not really hungry... or a picky vegan.

My first couple of trips to Honey's was for their breakfast. On this particular trip I had Nutella and Pear stuffed Challah french toast topped with whipped cream and crème anglaise.



Challah bread is a traditional bread served on the Sabbath as well as anytime a good Jew wants to indulge in delicious braided carb goodness. It's very versatile for use in recipes and has become a popular choice for french bread due to its ability to soak up the wet ingredients without turning into mush. It's also very damned delicious. When topped with the nutella and pear combination it is a decidedly delicious diabetes inducing dish. Since it was late in the day, my dining companion ChopStixx and I shared a plate of Guacamole and Chips. Slightly blurry photo below.



This was impeccable smooth and creamy. The guacamole had a consistency less like a mashed vegetable and more like whipped cream. The triangles of tortilla chips were served spiked into the Guacamole like a culinary hedgehog. Not that I think a hedgehog is appetizing. Although it might be if served with this Guacamole. Sorry, Sonic. I failed to get a picture of the Enfrijoladas with Chorizo but I have to say I've gone to Honey's three times for breakfast at this point and I always order this dish. I may have to wrap it up and take it home but I always have to order the combination of eggs, beans, salsa verde, queso fresco, and fresh fresh fresh micro greens. My only defense for not getting a picture is that I'm usually halfway through the dish before I remember I'm supposed to be blogging.


Originally they were only a breakfast and lunch joint. They have since expanded to include dinner, appear on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and are soon opening a second location. My most recent trip was my first for dinner. I took along my Mom, MommaFox, visiting from California. During what seemed to be the Down Pour Of The Apocalypse I took MommaFox into Northern Libs for a bite at Honey's. After waiting in the car for twenty minutes for the rain to either let up or Noah's Arc to appear on the horizon we finally braved the rain to dash inside. We were quickly greeted by one of the most upbeat servers I've even encountered. I'll forgive him for wearing those hideous tiger print wayfarer sunglasses on the top of his head. We decided on sliced heirloom tomatoes.



The tomatoes although not visually the most appealing dish were full of bright perky flavor that was in stark contrast to the doomsday happening outside the windows. Simple but delicious. For dinner we both decided on Bubby's Brisket Platter. MommaFox is watching her carbs and they were happy to substitute her Red Bliss Mashed potatoes for another choice of side from their list of over twentyoptions. I stuck with the mashed potatoes.



The portions was huge. This was my dinner, lunch and snack. The mashed potatoes were super creamy, smooth, and a perfect comfort food for a rainy day. The brisket was fall-apart-tender. The root vegetables were super fresh and had soaked up the au jus from the brisket. It was honestly nostalgic to share this with meal MommaFox because it reminded me of something that would have come out of her kitchen during my childhood. It was a cozy warm meal served with great friendliness. Our server even managed to convince me to take home an pecan apple tart. I wish I'd had the room to stay and have it at Honey's where they serve it warm and with a scoop of vanilla ice cream from the legendary Basset's. MommaFox confessed that when she first walked into Honey's small dining room and spied the ultra hipster waitstaff she was more than just a little doubtful. Not that I can blame her. Bicycle shorts should never be worn by a man working in a kitchen. That much un-netted hair can't be sanitary. However the food at Honey's shines even when the sun refuses to.


Honey's Sit and Eat: Fox tested, MommaFox approved.

El Diablo Burrito - Devilishly Good.

On a rainy Saturday after mother nature had thwarted my plans to take the kids to the dog park I decided to head down to Trolley Square to get my laundry done. Conveniently Trolley is also home to several eateries so I could get my nosh on while my knickers were drying.






There has been a buzz around El Diablo since they opened a couple of months back. I usually only go to Trolley Square to drink at Logan House on Welfare Wednesdays (when Miller Lt. drafts are $1) so I hadn't had the opportunity to check it out yet. I headed in around 6:30 for dinner. The place has a kitschy appeal I love. The El Diablo logo is a cartoon style devil with a pitchfork skewered burrito. I ordered the first thing my eyes fell on: The Serrano Short Rib Burrito. Okay, I waived slightly. I originally was going to go with the taco version but changed my mind. I should have gone with my original instinct. The burrito version came out weighing 72lbs and I had to back my truck up to take my leftovers home. This is only a slight exaggeration.




The place is situated in Trolley Square's shopping center. Diamond shaped decals decorate the front window and they have two small tables outside for dining in the weather. Since the weather around here has been hot enough to make El Diablo feel right at home I chose to dine inside. The tables and chairs are all retro 60's style and quite comfy I might add. The walls alternate between bright blood red and a gray wallpapaer that has the El Diablo logo. After ordering my Serrano Short Rib Burrito ($8.75 + $1.75 for Guacamole), iced tea ($1.75) and chips ($1) I took a seat to enjoy the food and sunshine. And to write this blog right here.




While I was typing away I overheard the employees discussing how many of their customers were tall men. As an amazon myself, I no know where to come in Delaware to pick up men. El Diablo is airy, fun, and hip. Even the employees seem to have fun being there as I watched them joke and laugh in between costumers. I enjoy seeing this kind of atmosphere in a casual dining spot. Unlike the gloomy misery queen's over at Johnny's Dog House these guys seemed to be a happy crew. It's good ju-ju for your food. Now to the food!




The iced tea was a true blue brewed iced tea. It wasn't skunked either. Ever have a glass of iced tea that tasted moldy? That's because it was brewed, chilled, warmed, then chilled again. Or left out overnight. It's gross. There were happy slices of lemons on the side. Another happy moment for me. The burrito. Oh, the burrito. The Serrano Short Rib (with goat cheese, salsa verde, lettuce, pico de gallo, rice, beans, and pickled peppers) smelled so good I had to take a bite before I took a photo. I'm not blowing air up your skirt when I say the meat was almost as good the short rib I enjoyed at Bibou. It was far beyond something I'd expect at a burrito shop in Wilmington. The tomatoes were fresh and crisp, the guacamole was creamy and delicious. Next time I would skip the guacamole since I think it took away from the mingling favors of the meat and goat cheese. The pickled peppers (mild, because I'm a sissy) were something I'd never tried before and intend to get extra of the next time I come. They have a tart crispness that really perked my taste buds up.

I do have a gripe: I wished the chips had been saltier, and warm.


El Diablo Burrito - Well worth some time in purgatory.

Dead President's - No, this isn't a pop quiz.

Dead President's Pub & Restaurant is a small bar on Union Street in Wilmington with a cult following that rival's Rocky Horror. Back in November on ThanksgivingEve ChopStixx and I unknowingly were there on what would become a night of infamy: Dead President's Last Night. The following day we were shocked and horrified to find the doors locked with a note pointing to plumbing problems as the cause. Slowly rumors began to circulate that there was a good chance the bar would not be reopening. Were we heart broken? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Lucky for us we live in the modern world of Facebook. A grassroots moment started by John Dieleuterio, Jr popped up and quickly gained the attention of local media. That's when Brian Raughley, former bartender at Dead President's stepped in and took over. The bar reopened on December 18th.

This Sunday fueled by a the need for dinner and beer, Shirazsta and I headed down the block to our local watering hole. This is St. Patrick's day weekend and of course the place was lit up with green, shamrocks, and cuties potted faux green carnations. There was also the promise of a live band playing Irish music later on in the evening. DeadPrez has the typical bar fare. They do however have daily specials that are most often pretty bitchin'. This night we were treated to an Irish themed menu. With a nudge from the lovely barkeep Veronica I selected the Lamb and Stout Stew with a side of Mrs. Raughley's Irish bread.




Now I've obviously exposed myself as a lover of this bar. However I'm not blowing sunshine up your arse when I say this was delightful. The lamb retained its gamy taste but had a tingtang (yes, that is a culinary term) to it from the stout. The veges weren't mushy or over done and the carrots added a nice sweetness to the dish. The bread was outstanding. Mrs. Raughley has both of my thumbs way in the air for her recipe and I'd like to encourage that it be left on the menu. Or sold down the street to Black Lab Bakery so I can enjoy it more frequently. It was dark and spicy but surprisingly sweet. It tasted almost like lighter, sweeter version of gingerbread with raisins. It was a very enjoyable, although my only gripe is not realizing that many of the owner's family were there. Because they brought their children, Shirazsta and I cuss like sailors, and we didn't know their were children present until one of us dropped a loud "F" bomb as a youngin' walked by. D'oh >.<


Dead President's - Like Cheers but without Ted Dansen's Toupee.

Monk's Belgian Cafe - Beer me.

One fine early March afternoon ChopStixx and I discovered we were both off. What to do? Lunch, of course! Off to Philadelphia for the Best Lunch Ever: Part III. This time we invited along Roux-bbinson for the festivities. We first stopped by Ikea to replenish my wine glass supply and ogle the bizarre offerings at the Swedish all-assembly-required emporium. Such as the following:



I admit it: I bought the chocolates. They were only $1.50!
Edit: ...And there is a reason they were only $1.50. Yuck.



Then we were off to Monk's Beglian Cafe. I'd hoped to check out Zot but they've closed. Damn. Monk's is easily spotted with a black, red, and yellow facade calling out to you "Come, we have beer!". Once you step inside however you have to walk down a dark narrow hallway until you reach this door:




This intimidated me. Would we be cool enough to enter? I suppose so since the staff didn't chuck us out and instead seated us in the pews. No, really. The back of this supermodel skinny building is striking in its similarity to a church. After all the place is called Monk's. The pews we were seated in were just about as uncomfortable as the real deal are for me. It's impossible to get in and out without sliding the table to the side. This is especially cumbersome when you add in a (wobbly) table full of food and dining companions on the other side of the table you have to squish in order to get to the restrooms. The restrooms are also uncomfortably small. Belgium must be the land of very skinny dwarfs.


Each table is fitted with two small one sided menus. One lists what they have on tap and the other with special brewed offerings. They also have a brochure listing the rest of the beers available. I didn't count but they appeared to have about a hundred or so options. None of these options contain the word Miller, Bud, or come with a lime.



Unibroue Ephemere, Houblon Chouffe, and Chimay Cinq Cent


These were just a small sampling of the beers we tasted. I declare them Apply-Yum, Spicy-Yum, and WAY too hoppy for my sissy mouth.

I was absolutely famished by the time we ordered and ready to launch myself at every waiter who walked by with a half eaten plate of food. Roux-bbinson agreed to split a "small" pot of mussels. We went with the Thai Curry mussels.



From the site: Monk's Flemish Sour, fumè, Thai red curry, bais, garlic & coconut milk. Served with bread for sopping up the tasty juices, an order of their Pommes Frites and their spicy bourbon mayonnaise. $9.95. $9.95!!! THAT'S CRAZY!

Let me make it perfectly clear when I say their idea of "small" is huge. The first time I dined at Monk's and the brought out a huge pot of mussels I thought that someone had made a happy mistake. No, their small is easily a meal in and of itself. Unless you're a professional athlete, competitive eater, or just a bottomless pit (See: Roo-bbinson). The Thai Red curry was very good however I have to admit that I preferred the DeKonick mussels (caramelized leeks, apples, swiss cheese & deKonick antwerpen ale) from my previous visit.



Delicious tender little lovies.

For my meal choice I went with the Monk's burger with a side of Pommes Frites. Because really, is one order of deep fried starch ever really enough?


Monk's Burger with carmalized leeks and bleu cheese.

I wish they'd melted down the cheese a bit to make the burger more manageable, but that aside it was one big messy delight. Excellent beef cooked to a perfect medium rare, juicy not greasy. The bite of the bleu cheese contrasted with the sweetness of the leeks. Obviously I enjoyed because I got halfway through the burger before I remembered to take a photo. I'm not a burger girl. I haven't ordered a burger since the 90's, but this was excellent. I've been craving another. Honestly one of the best burgers I've ever had. Which can only mean one thing: I'm stealing the recipe and forcing my fave local bar to recreate it so I can be within walking distance of this meaty delight. Chopstixx also ordered the Monk burger and while she enjoyed, she was more enamored with the spicy bourbon mayonnaise that came with the fries.


Roux-bbinson went with the Chicken&Apple sausage with raspberry mustard.



I didn't try this. The concept of raspberry mustard made my stomach churn a bit. As did the concept of the raspberry beer he later tried. Beer shouldn't be blood red. I do not approve. However, to the rest of my experience with Monk's I absolutely do approve.






Monk's Belgian Cafe - Next to godliness.

Back with a bang ....and a bust. Part Two: Union City Grille - Is there a waiter in the house?

This weekend a small portion of my misfit friends gathered at Union City Grille to celebrate the birthday of my BoyBFF, DJ Gumbo. I made reservations for four at 7:30 and met DJ Gumbo at the bar after circling several times trying to find parking. The third in our party and my other BoyBFF, Shirazsta, arrived at 7:35 and we went to the hostess to be seated. I keep mentioning the time for a reason. The hostess asked us to wait a bit longer because our table wasn't ready. Strawberry Tartcake arrived, tarty, at 7:40. While I went to fetch her the boys were seated. We were given our menus, water and the waiter disappeared...for twenty minutes.

I understand that 7:30 on a Saturday night is a busy time. However if you're waiting tables during this time you should know how to handle the demands. When he finally returned with our bread (that's right, 20 minutes for bread) we immediately placed our orders. Then we waited. And waited. And waited. If the kitchen gets backed up and you don't have our food it's still polite to stop by the table, see if we'd like more bread and apologize for the delay. Oh, and perhaps see if we would like refills on our drinks. Other servers may take the approach of "stop by the table as infrequently as possible and let them slowly dehydrate as they wait for their food" but I'm pretty sure that my philosophy on waiting tables garners bigger tips.

At 8:40 DJ Gumbo was threatening to leave in five minutes if our food didn't appear. He still needed to eat and needed to leave no later than 9:15 to make it to the Manayunk Brew Pub in time to start his set at 10pm (Yes, he really is a DJ). I left the table in search of our waiter to locate our food or a manager to bitch at. I got as far as the kitchen door when our waiter emerged with our food. DJ Gumbo and Strawberry Tartcake both ordered steaks. DJ Gumbo said his was good but Strawberry Tartcake thought hers was "Meh". I tried hers and I'd have to agree, "meh". Shirazsta ordered the chicken cutlets. It was essentially chicken parmigiana. I didn't try it, he didn't comment, but it didn't look worthy of the $17 price tag.

I ordered the Flatbread ($10 lump crab, mushrooms, mozzarella and chives and a small side of Fettucine Pomodoro ($7 pasta hand made on site).





The flatbread was flat. So flat it was more like a cracker than a flatbread. The mozzarella was funky. That's the best word I can give you. I don't know if it was a poor quality cheese or if it had just sat around for too long, but it was something I'd expect to find topping a Domino's pizza. That's not a compliment. The chives didn't help. They showed up on the plate but weren't noticed on the palette. It isn't something I'd be willing to try again.





Now the Fettucine Pomodoro? Yeaaah. I don't know if anyone let the cooks in the back know, but salt is no longer traded pound for pound with gold. It's quite cheap and readily available. UCG is located in Wilmington's Little Italy district. Pomodoro, voted best upscale Italian Restaurant for two years running, is across the street. If you're going to taut your pasta in this area you'd better bring your "A" game.

After DJ Gumbo split we moved our empty water glasses and his empty beer bottle to his place. There they would sit for the remainder of our time at the restaurant. DJ Gumbo finished his beer before we received our bread. This means the empty container sat on the table for over an hour without being cleared away. Shirazsta made the mistake of ordering a soda which also sat empty on the table for nearly as long without an offer of a refill. This really irritated me because they charged $2.50 for the soda. $2.50? For a coke? Bitch please I can get a 44oz Big Gulp at 7-11 for less than that! I had to steal the salt and pepper shakers from another table as ours didn't have them. I can only assume that the proprietors of UCG hold the steak purist belief that A1 or Worcestershire sauce is sacrilegious as neither of my dining companions were offered either of these.



Half empty water glasses and empty beer bottle that sat on the table.



At the end of the meal when almost all other tables had cleared out our waiter was suddenly much more available asking if we'd need anything else, if we needed boxes, etc. I ordered an espresso martini and the tiramisu which I was told was made on premises. The tiramisu was good, but far from the best I've had. The main tenant of tiramisu is espresso soaked ladyfingers. Espresso is supposed to be very strong. The coffee in this dish was far from winning any strongman competitions. They also hadn't thoroughly soaked the fingers so it left the taste a bit flat. I believe it was served with what was supposed to be some sort of whipped cream but tasted like Cool-Whip, only waxier. The espresso martini was a twist on the menu variant created by our waiter. This was outstanding and makes me wonder if perhaps he was better suited to mixology than servology. To this, my hat is off to him. If I had come to hang out at the bar and listen to the live music while sipping on this beauty I'd have no complaints about my experience.






This was a dining experience bust. The waiter was much more attentive once we were the only table left but that didn't make up for over an hour of being forgotten. I don't mean to rag to hard on him because I understand the human factor of being a server. For all I know he could have had a shit day, difficult tables in the other dining room, or any number of things that caused him to be off his game. However the food itself was lackluster and that killed it for me. I may possibly try them again for lunch sometime but only if they up their game.



Union City Grille - I wouldn't cross a picket line for them.

Back with a bang ...and a bust - Part One: Bibou - What the french?

After a very long hiatus I return with two reviews for local eateries. The first is the highly hyped Bibou in the Italian Market district of Philadelphia. Bibou is a teeny tiny french BYOB operated by Pierre and Charlotte Calmels that is currently getting more foodie press time than a blonde heiress in a supermarket tabloid.

A year or two back I received a Zagat's guide as a gift. They have a list of the top 40 most popular restaurants in the front of the book and I've made it my personal goal to eat at at least the top five. As of right now my remaining two are Capital Grille and Le Be Fin. However since GQ rated Bibou on of the top 10 new restaurants in the country and Pierre's background as the former Executive Chef at Le Bec Fin I'm using Bibou as my proxy to scratch Le Bec Fin off my list. In all honesty I hope that by the time the next Zagat's guide comes out that LBF has been replaced by Bibou.


As a surprise treat for my sweetie, Antonio Braisederas, I made reservations for the Sunday night prix fixe menu. Four courses for $45, free parking next door, and no corkage fee, and the ability to taste several dishes at one price? That my friends is one bitchin' deal. Despite all of the acclaim that Bibou has received I was still antsy to see how the evening would go. Antonio Braisederas has a background working in very nice restaurants and is a bit of a snob because of it. I figured worst case scenario if he hated dinner I'd take him a few block down to the Neon Wasteland at the corner of Pat's/Geno's and get him a cheesesteak.

When we arrived at 7:30 the restaurant was packed. This isn't a great accomplishment because the dining room is, as I said, teeny tiny. However watching the waiters artfully dance between the tables without knocking into themselves or the patrons is quite impressive. We were seated by Charlotte Calmels who is exceedingly pleasant and quickly brought our menus by our waiter who would prove to be very attentive, polite, and efficient in his service. We easily made our selections and were brought out our first course of soup.



Creamy cauliflower soup, lamb merguez and saffron cauliflower florets

It was divine. Antonio Braisederas kept quiet until he'd had his first two spoonfuls before announcing he hated cauliflower, but this dish had changed his mind on the vegetable. This is far to rich to sit down to a bowl of on a cold day, but this just right portion was perfect for a chilly March evening. It seems like a small touch but the pinch of chives on the top of the soup were so fresh and bright they cut the richness of the soup perfectly. I'm not ashamed to say I used the fresh bread to sop the last bits of the soup out from the bottom.



Fresh bread with imported french butter. This was a very nice touch and far beyond your run of the mill butter-in-foil experience.

For my first course I chose Escargots.


From the webiste: Snail ragout, Fava beans and mushrooms, flavored with tarragon

I'll admit it: I chose this dish because of continuously seeing its image on the website and other blogs reviewing Bibou. The presentation is just so gosh darn CUTE. The firmness of the beans contrasted beautifully with the squishy (yes, squishy) juicy tenderness of the escargot. To give credit to this dish: I hate tarragon. HATE. I don't like the word, the smell, the taste, anything. I see tarragon and avoid it like an Al Qaeda meeting. However the other flavors and textures made me forget all about my arch nemesis tarragon and enjoy.


For my main dish I chose the braised lamb shank.



From the website: Braised lamb shank, quinoa and root vegetables, natural jus.

Oh holy mother. I started by peeling back a layer of crisp skin to the sound of my dining companion asking me, on the verge of screeching, "If you're not going to eat the skin give it to meeeee!". The waiter accidentally set down a steak knife in front of me at first before realizing it was Antonio Braisederas who had ordered the hanger steak. Pah. I needed no knife! All I needed was a fork to make the meat gleefully part from the bone. Antonio Braisederas and I lamented that these must have been the Terminator of Lambs. The shank was bloody huge. The quinoa was nutty and firm. The veges were just as lovely as the meat and I enjoyed every bit. I attempted to make every bite the right mixture of protein/quinoa/veges.

This is where our waiter comes into play. Because I have a small stomach capacity I was only able to eat a small bit of my main course and still maintain enough space for dessert. Our waiter took note of this and repeatedly asked if everything was okay, if I really liked the dish, and if I didn't he would happily bring me something else. I've only experienced this level of thoughtfulness a few times and sincerely appreciate it. Far too often the attitude is "You don't like it? Too bad." once you have ordered. This was not the case at Bibou and it made me very happy to see this level of attention paid to me by our server (and obviously this was backed by the chef). While waiting for dessert Chef Pierre Calmels came out to speak with each table and ask if we we had enjoyed our meal. Again, a small personal touch that goes far in my book.


Finally I went for the ultimate indulgence: Chocolate Mousse. Properly known as "Mousse Au Chocolat"





omg. No. Really. OMG. This was so dark, so rich, yet light and airy. It was beautiful. I loved every single bite. It was well worth getting raspberry seeds in my teeth. This was an excellent end to a wonderful meal. My final thoughts:

Bibou BYOB: You bring the booze, they'll bring the yum.