Burrito Bandido - Sweet Horchata, Burritogirl!

For about three years now I've been driving past Burrito Bandido (227 N. Maryland Ave, Wilmington DE) every few months and thinking to myself "I really need to try that place. I just KNOW they've got to have awesome food there". Alas, I've either not been hungry (shut up, it does happen) or I've been in a hurry (ie, running late as always). Well I have learned my lesson this time. I waited too long, and those little upstarts over at The Spark got the drop on me and reviewed them first. Jerks.

I also found this review which describes the area surrounding Burrito Bandido as being "questioning" and "discomforting". This dude obviously hasn't had the pleasure of driving down 4th St at 2am. Or 2pm. Really, 4th is pretty scur-dry any time of night or day. Seriously, I ran over a cup once while driving down 4th and thought I'd been shot at. I digress.

I found myself exiting Wilmington the other night, and found the opportunity to stop at Burrito Bandido at long last. As soon as I entered I was backhanding by the visual assault of bright orange, lime green, and mexi-kitsch. We all know I love kitsch. The first good sign was a Latin (I'll wager Mexican) couple eating dinner in the small dining area. When you go to an ethnic restaurant and there are no patrons of that ethnicity there, you just know you're about to eat crappy food. The menu includes steak, chorizo, lamb, pork, beef ...and tripe, tongue, or head. I went the safe route, and got a steak burrito. The waitress was very friendly, asking me if I had any questions about the menu.

Why yes, I do. Oh please, sweet little Mexican woman, tell me what I want to hear, tell me you have my beloved Horchata? THEY DO! I refuse to believe that any Mexican establishment can claim to be "authentic" and not serve Horchata. What makes this South Jersey Jew the foremost authority on the authenticity of a Mexican eatery?

1) I spent weeks in Phoenix, AZ as a teenager.
2) I said so.

If you have not had the pleasure of enjoying a glass of horchata, allow me to explain. Simply put: Horchata is a Mexican rice milk drink flavored with cinnamon. Sir Forksalot compares it to a drinkable rice pudding. I compare it to milky proof that god loves us and wants us to eat well. It's subtle sweetness and milky consistency make it possible to eat fire and not rip our tongues out.


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I ordered the steak burrito ($6.50) and a horchata ($2.75). The horchata came in a huge quart sized bucket-to-go container. I got a cup so I could drink on the go. I got my order take-out. A dumb choice, in retrospect. I should have stayed and hung out there. Especially once I saw the size of the burrito. Let's just say that if this burrito were transformed into a living breathing man, that man would have a great career in porn. I ate it for dinner, breakfast, and lunch. The horchata was just as orgasmic as I had hoped. There were even bits of cinnamon clinging to the bottom of my cup when it was done, a testament to the flavor of the drink.





Yeah, it's a crappy photo. The Travel Channel hasn't come through with their financial backing to this blog yet. I'm waiting.

The burrito came with a green and a red sauce. The green tomatillo had an undercurrent of cool flavor to offset the spice. The red was just out to burn my face off. First bite impression: WOWZA! The steak has been marinated since last October, it's packed with flavor. Fresh crispy lettuce, perky sweet tomatoes, rice, and refried beans. I wish I'd had more refrieds and less rice, but I'm a pain in the ass that way. I really can't stress how much I enjoyed the flavor of the steak and appreciated the time they had taken to spice and marinate it rather than just grilling it up with bland salt&pepper. I can't wait for an excuse to go back and try some of their tortas.

Burrito Bandido - If you don't like it, you're a jackass bandit.

Johnnie's Dog House - Indeed.

After taking my furry children to the dog park, I took a spin on Rt 202 over to Johnnie's Dog House.



After a really mind blowing hot dog experience (yeah, I didn't think there was such a thing either) at Super Duper Weenie in Fairfeld, CT last summer (that's right, last summer, BEFORE that little upstart Guy Fieri went there) I've been hoping to find something of the same kin closer to home. Pulling up to the very retro chic Johnnie's Dog House I immediately got excited about what delights awaited me on the inside. The name is a little misleading, they do serve things other than dogs and fries. They also serve fish sandwiches, pulled pork, roast beef, and I was to find out later -a side order of despair. However I was in search of a yumm-o hot dog. Sir Forksalot at my side we headed into the surprisingly crowded building.




One of the patrons kindly recommended that we try the Coke, as it was bottled in Mexico where they have a slightly different flavor.



He was right, the flavor was subtly different. The retro kitsch of drinking out of a glass bottle mixed with the decor made you feel almost like you were transported back to the time of the imagery on the walls. The charm wore off by the time I ordered, however. I don't need a lot of interaction, but it's just plain polite to:

A) Make eye contact.
B) Say "Hello".
C) Say "Thank You".
D) Not sigh when I make a request on my order.

I could have forgiven this easily, but as soon as I was done ordering I took note that everyone behind the counters seemed like they weren't so much working as they were waiting for their death sentence to be handed down. Yeeesh. The first sign of trouble came when I saw them pulling out a food service bag of onion rings. I had some sort of childish hope that a place that lives off of nostalgia would be make their food from scratch. We got our orders to go since we three small whining dogs in the car. This would prove to be a mistake.

I ordered the New Yorker without mustard, but WITH sauerkraut and red onion sauce. This set me up for disappointment as the only time I had red onion sauce was at Super Duper Weenie, where it is made by hand.



I sure was disappointed in the red onion sauce. Mostly because - THERE WASN'T ANY! Instead of making my dog to my specifications, they left out the red onion sauce all together. By the time I got home and realized this, it was too late to go back and throw my weenie in their face. And believe me, I wanted to smack a ho' with my weenie I was so peeved. The dog was okay, but a bit bland. My initial anger at the lack of onion sauce never quite wore off. The onion rings were, as I suspected, quite terrible. The breading had a stale flavor to it and I'm not sure how you manage to make an onion ring completely void of onion flavor...but they did it.

Sir Forksalot got a Kielbasa with Sauerkraut.



Now I like Sauerkraut, but when it's the highlight of the sandwhich -it's a bad thing. I'm not sure where their Kielbasa is coming from, but it needs to go back. It was like cheap bologna. You know it's supposed to taste like something, but you're not sure what.

They fell way short from the mark. Johnnie's promises "The foods you crave" and they deliver it. Just without it, you know, tasting good.

Johnnie's Dog House - Not good enough for my mutts.

Michael's Jewish Deli - A Kick in the Knish!

When I made plans to see Batman: Dark Knight the IMAX experience at the King of Prussia Mall, I planned ahead and checked out a couple of websites like TripAdvisor.com and Chow.com for recommendations on where to eat. Since Sir Forksalot has never eaten in a Jewish Deli before, and Michael's Jewish Deli is renowned for their huge selection of beers, that's where we headed.

Our visit to Michael's started out on a down note. We failed to pre-order tickets, and a midweek midday showing of the movie was sold out. Defeated, we purchased tickets for Hellboy instead went in search of grub.

First of, Michaels doesn't have a huge selection of beers. They have a enormous selection of beers.



Four cases of single bottles of beers from all over the world. My only gripe is that I had a hard time choosing. They've got the standard Miller Lt, but also have everything else under the sun. After ten...okay, after fifteen minutes of staring with an open jaw at all of my options, I finally selected a bottle of Three Philosophers. Sir Forksalot was hankering for the one beer they didn't have: Killian's Irish Red. Instead he picked out a Hooker. Hooker Irish Red Ale that is.

We settled down in the dining area and salivated over the huge menu. I tried to explain to Sir Forksalot what a knish is. It's not really that difficult if you actually break it down (a potato filled pastry) but instead of using words to describe it, I began making "Yumm" noises and had to rely on the waitress to explain it to him. I ordered the New Yorker (yes, with cheese, I'm a bad Jew) with a side of Sauerkraut and a potato knish on the side to split with Sir Forksalot. Because he wanted me to cry, he went with a Jewish Hoagie. Pastrami is never supposed to be served with lettuce and tomato, ever.




My sandwich was huge and very filling, I took half home. Okay, actually I took half to the theater and finished it later in lieu of popcorn. My only gripe is the bread itself wasn't grilled. The meats were top knotch. They were served warm, juicy, and popping with flavor. One of the best sandwiches I've had hands down. The knish was really superb. It was fresh and the potato's were real, nothing artificial in the filling. Sir Forksalot and I had a knife fight to decide who got the last bite. He enjoyed his sandwhich, although he actually had the nerve to complain about there being too much meat. That's right, he complained about there being too much meat on a sandwich served in a Jewish Deli that is listed on the menu as containing four meats. He was most intrigued by the bologna, which he picked out from the sandwich and ate separately. The only real disappointment were the beers. Neither was particularly good. Mine was far too heavy for me, though Sir Forksalot enjoyed it.

We enjoyed our visit so much we returned the following week. That time we fandangoed our movie tickets. We stopped by Michael's and got our sandwiches to go, snagged two bottles of Hard Cider and enjoyed our meal while waiting for the movie to start. Definitely a better choice than the lame-o Cheesecake Factory.

Michaels Jewish Deli: Kickin' it semi Kosher.